


We Tried

by NobodyOfficial



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: ? - Freeform, Birthday, F/M, Fluff, Funny, M/M, idk whag on earth to tag this with, is it funny? Idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 08:31:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14912000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NobodyOfficial/pseuds/NobodyOfficial
Summary: Kevin finds a birthday card in Arnold’s drawer and rushes to throw him a surprise party, sending Arnold to the Market with Mafala. But throwing a party last minute isn’t he elders’ strong suit, and there’s  question gnawing at Kevin’s conscious...





	We Tried

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tubofskippy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tubofskippy/gifts).



> Wrote this on tumblr for Skippy’s (tubofskippy on here and on tumblr, if you haven’t already I reccomend looking at every single thing they’ve ever made in their life, because they’re insanelt talented and so sweet) birthday, but it’s super late now :| [sorry for the tag thing on here and on tumblr but I’m still not 100% sure how this one works]

Kevin burst into the communal area, adrenaline pumping through his veins and a smile, a real, genuine smile, plastered on his face. “Guys, we have a huge-“ He caught sight of Arnold, perched on the back of the couch and watching him with the same adoration and intensity he always did. He swallowed his words. “Dick.”

 

“What?” Neeley, who Kevin hadn’t even thought was paying attention, exclaimed.

 

“D-d-d-dick,” he stuttered. His brain was playing a cruel word-association game. “Never, never mind, Connor get in here.” He turned around and stormed back into his room, but not before he made an angry gesture that suggested Connor didn’t have any choice but to follow him.

 

“Oh,” he heard Arnold yell as the door closed. “They’re gonna kiss!”

 

“Are we gonna kiss?” Connor asked, frowning and head slightly tilted. That certainly made Kevin want to kiss him...

 

“No.” He shook his head. “Maybe later. Look, I found this in Arnold’s beside unit-“

 

“Why were you in Arnold’s beside unit?”

 

“He steals my socks sometimes, it’s not important.” Kevin pulled the card out from behind his back and showed it to Connor. It was plain, displaying only a cake and some lettering in a langue Kevin couldn’t read, but it was obviously a birthday card. Plus, the message inside was in English and it very clearly said ‘happy birthday Arnold.’

 

“What is that?” Connor asked.

 

“I dunno, what is it Arnold can speak? Dari?”

 

“No, no,” Connor wrinkled his brow, “The card, what’s the card?”

 

“Oh!” Kevin opened it. “It’s from Arnold’s aunt, wishing him happy birthday. He only received it recently, so it must be his birthday soon. Or it’s just been his birthday. Why wouldn’t he tell us?” Arnold couldn’t go five minutes without divulging to the rest of the district what he was doing. Every morning, breakfast was interrupted by Arnold’s ‘I’m going to take a shower now!’ Every new chapter of the Book of Arnold was described in excruciating detail to anyone who would listen. Several meals had been ruined by Arnold’s declaration that he had to ‘go pee.’ Arnold would never pass up an opportunity to brag about his twentieth birthday.

 

“I don’t know, maybe he doesn’t want to celebrate?” Connor offered. They dismissed the idea instantly. Last week Arnold had held a celebration for the birthday of Mafala’s goat. “I don’t know.”

 

“Me neither. But I do know that we have to throw him a huge surprise party-“

 

“Ah, so that’s where you were going with that. I did wonder.”

 

“Yeah. So, we need to get Arnold out of the centre for the day so we can set up.”

 

“That should be easy, we’ll just get Sister Hatimbi to take him out.” Arnold would never pass up an opportunity to spend the day with Nabulungi. If Kevin didn’t spend every waking moment he could with Connor he may have been jealous.

 

“No, we need Naba to help with the party. She probably knows Arnold better than me.” It did hurt Kevin a little that someone was closer to his best friend than him, but when that person was Nabulungi he couldn’t be angry. “Mafala’s going to the market today, we could persuade Arnold to go with him.”

 

“Persuade him? Mafala’s practically Arnold’s adopter father, he’d go with him in a heartbeat.”

 

“That’s true,” Kevin agreed. “Ok, you go leave Arnold with Mafala and bring Nabulungi back.” He clasped his hands together in glee. “We’re going to throw Arnold the best party ever!”

 

~

 

Arnold had no idea why Connor was chaperoning him to Nabulungi’s house, his pace even sharper and more authoritative than usual. The sun had only just risen and was beginning to warm Arnold’s damp hair; Connor had practically dragged him from the breakfast table, still in his towel, forced him into a shirt and pants, then herded him out the door. Arnold was still clutching a packet of Lucky Charms, scooping out a handful ever so often to eat.

 

“Can we get some milk?” Arnold asked, crunching another handful of cereal.

 

“You can get some when you go to the market with Mafala,” Connor replied. He’d been responding in the same way to Arnold’s questions all morning, leaving Arnold only a little perplexed. He’d had no plans to accompany Mafala to the market, and although he enjoyed spending time with him he’d much rather spend the day with Nabulungi. Apparently though that wasn’t an option.

 

“So what’s Naba doing again?” They’d reached the Hatimbi household, Mafala loading up a small wagon by the front. Nabulungi had built it for him after the cart was rendered useless. God had she looked cute with overalls and a hammer. God, she looked cute all the time.

 

“Nothing,” Connor said frantically, knocking on the door while Mafala looked on in confusion. “Hello Mr Hatimbi, I’m taking your daughter somewhere and you’re having Arnold, if that’s ok, thank you!” He garbled. Nabulungi opened the door and was shocked when Connor immediately grabbed her by the hand and started to lead her away.

 

“Elder...” She stopped, forcing Connor to jar to a halt. “What are you doing?” Connor leaned in and whispered something to her that made her smile softly. Arnold bounced his leg impatiently; he wanted to know the secret!

 

“Ah,” Nabulungi nodded. “Of course!” She turned back to Mafala. “Father, I must go with Elder McKinley today. Please take Arnold to the market with you.”

 

Mafala still looked baffled, but he shrugged. “Alright then.” He smiled at Arnold and rolled his eyes. “These kids, huh? At least you’re ready to do some real work today.”

 

Arnold’s face lit up. As a child all he’d wanted was to go to work with his dad, to be important while everyone else his age was just the child of a client. But his dad had never trusted him enough to take him to work, and he feared Arnold would lessen his coworkers opinions of him. Mafala let Arnold help with whatever he wanted, even if he wasn’t good at it. Especially if he wasn’t good at it. He loved teaching Arnold how to start camp fires, fix old machinery, and speak Swahili.

 

“I am so excited to go to the market with you, Mafala,” Arnold said, lifting the wagon’s handle and beginning to wheel it along behind him. “I have a handful of money I don’t understand in my pocket, will you buy some milk with it for me?”

 

“Of course, Arnold,” Mafala smiled. “I will have to start teaching you about our currency.”

 

Arnold snuck a glance over his shoulder, into the cart. It was mostly filled with a plastic cooling tub, but there was some gilo in there too. “Hey, what’re we selling?”

 

“You know that goat you threw a celebration for last week?” Mafala asked.

 

“Captain Crunch?” Arnold had named him so after he ate the bottom button off all of Arnold’s shirts.

 

“Yes. We’re selling him.”

 

~

 

The missionary centre was in chaos when Nabulungi arrived. Chris and James were crowded around the kitchen table, mixing something sloppily in a large bowl. Neeley was balanced precariously on a ladder, hanging what was nothing more than strips of coloured paper from the ceiling. A whole huddle of elders were pouring over a makeshift banner that currently read ‘Hapy Birth’ in bubble writing. They’d run out of space.

 

All the while Kevin dashed madly around the room, criticising spillages and lacklustre decorations and amateurs mistakes. He sighed when he caught sight of Connor and Nabulungi. “Oh my Heavenly Father, thank fuck you’re here.” He spoke so quickly he was out of breath halfway through the sentence. “These morons couldn’t plan a party to save their lives!”

 

“Oh, sweetie, don’t be mean to my boys,” Connor said gently.

 

“Your boys are morons, Connor!” Kevin leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. “Love you.”

 

“Uuh...” Nabulungi raises her hand nervously, unsure of what else to do. “What would you like me to help with?”

 

“Sorry.” Kevin pulled back, blushing. “Right. We just need to know what Arnold would want. You know him better than anyone.”

 

Nabulungi looked at the misshapen cake, misspelt banner, and ceiling that looked like it was spawning snakes. “He’ll love this,” she smirked. She walked over to Chris and James. “Use chocolate to decorate the cake, so you can make it look like the Death Star. Don’t add any more letters to the banner,” she called across the room. “Arnold will think it’s funny. We also need gifts, and someone to invite the villagers.”

 

Zelder shoved past a cluster of district nine elders to stand obediently in front of Nabulungi. She leaned back, slightly unnerved by his wide grin. “I can get gifts from the dump,” he proclaimed.

 

Nabulungi raised an eyebrow while Kevin face-palmed and Connor wandered away muttering. “Elder, you could just get gifts from the village,” Nabulungi suggested tentatively. He stared at her, face a stock-image of confusion. Because who wouldn’t want something from the dump, right?

 

“Michaels.” Connor beckoned him over. “Go out with Zelder for birthday gifts. Nothing weird, ok?” He pointed at Zelder with intensity. “Nothing. Weird.” They left.

 

“You know, we should have told them to invite people while they’re in the village,” Nabulungi said. Connor groaned and ran after the pair.

 

“I’ll, umm-“ Kevin pointed over his shoulder, “Go help with decorations, I guess.” He seemed disheartened. Even his hair seemed to flop.

 

“What’s wrong?” Nabulungi asked.

 

Kevin shrugged heavily. “Arnold’s my best friend and he tells me everything-“ He paused and looked at Nabulungi in a way whichsuggested he’d been told exactly what it felt like to kiss her. “I just don’t know why he wouldn’t tell me this. Or you! You’re his girlfriend. I just want to know that he’s ok.”

 

Nabulungi had initially been worried about Arnold too; maybe he didn’t want to celebrate his birthday, maybe he didn’t like to, maybe he hadn’t wanted them to know the date. But Arnold had once forgotten to wear shoes out in the desert. And eaten only opuntia for three days. And accidentally washed his hair with sun lotion. It wasn’t unreasonable to assume he could forget his own birthday. “He’ll be fine,” she told Kevin confidently. “Don’t worry. I’ve got this.”

 

~

 

“Do you want to see my great idea? It’s so great, I’m so smart, I thought of this all on my own. I mean, I needed Naba’s help, but it was all my idea, mostly my idea, Kevin might’ve helped a bit too, what was I saying?” Arnold looked hopefully over at Mafala. They’d set up the stall, goat meat wrapped in leaves to keep the flies off and laid on ice to keep it fresh, all set out on wooden boards with the gilo. Mafala had to keep reminding Arnold not to hassle the customers, but aside from that Captain Crunch seemed to be a raging success.

 

“I’d love to see your great idea, Arnold,” Mafala chuckled.

 

“Oh, right!” Arnold pointed enthusiastically towards his legs. Mafala just frowned. “I’m wearing Naba’s tights!” He exclaimed.

 

“Ah.” Mafala nodded. “I thought your legs had just become in-proportionately more tanned than the rest of your body.” He paused, exchanged a hunk of meat for a handful of notes Arnold didn’t understand. “Why are you wearing my Naba’s tights?”

 

“‘Cause I’m wearing baggy cargo shorts.” Mafala waited for a further explanation. “And my thighs are chubby.” A pause. “It stops chafing when I go on long walks in the heat.”

 

Mafala’s face lit up with understanding and Arnold felt his heart skip. He’d made his dad, Mafala, his future father-in-law (hopefully) proud. “That is a very smart idea, Arnold. You’re full of good ideas.”

 

“I am! Those and breakfast cereal.”

 

Mafala allowed Arnold to practise his Swahili, and taught him the exchange rate from Ugandan shillings to American dollars (one shilling was equal to 0.00037 American dollars). He enjoyed it, but it didn’t bring him the same fulfilment and pride working with Gotswana did. His heart was still set on becoming a doctor when he returned to the states.

 

“My friends are being real weird today,” Arnold said, towing the now-empty wagon back towards the missionary centre. “I don’t know what’s up with that.”

 

“Me neither, Arnold. I’m sure they all want what is best for you though, those boys really care about you.” Mafala patted him on the shoulder. “Come, I’ll walk you to the centre.”

 

Arnold left the wagon by the door and entered the centre with Mafala in tow.

 

“Surprise!” A handful of shredded paper hit Arnold in the face. He brushed it off, getting some of the strings tangled in his hair as he did so. Mafala placed a hand on his back to steady him.

 

“What... What’s going on?” Arnold asked.

 

“We threw you a party, buddy.” Kevin flashed him one of his winning smiles. “I’m sorry you didn’t tell us, but we wanted to do something nice for you.”

 

Arnold looked up a the sloppy, rainbow-coloured sign tacked to the notice board. “Hap-yuh, birth?” He chuckled slightly. “I like that. Whose birthday is it?”

 

Kevin frowned and the elders and villagers began to murmur among themselves. “It’s yours... Isn’t it?”

 

Arnold thought for a few moments, just to make sure, but he was fairly certain it wasn’t his birthday. “No, what made you think that?”

 

Kevin sighed, cheeks slightly red with shame. “I found a card in your drawer-“

 

“I don’t steal your socks! Stop accusing me of stealing your socks!”

 

“Anyway. I found a card from your aunt wishing you happy birthday. Why didn’t you tell us?”

 

Everyone in the crowd looked concerned and eager. Several of the villagers were wearing festive headwear, a few had party hats that matches those the elders were wearing. Michaels had a small wooden box clutched in his hands and Zelder appeared to be cradling a handful of sleeping chick. Chris and James were proudly displaying a death-star shaped cake. Arnold had never loved a group of people more in his entire life. He almost didn’t want to tell them. But he owed them the truth; he wasn’t a liar.

 

“It’s not my birthday,” he said, much to everyone’s dismay. “That card’s from my great-aunt. She lives in Afghanistan and I haven’t seen her since I was nine. She gets my birthday wrong every year, but instead of correcting her now I just thank her for the card. My real birthday’s in three months.”

 

The room was silent. Arnold’s face creased with worry. They’d only been trying to do something nice; he hadn’t mean to ruin it. He looked back at Mafala in panic, before feeling Nabulungi carefully intertwine her fingers with his.

 

“Happy early birthday then, I guess,” she whispered.

 

Arnold broke out into a huge grin again. “This is the greatest surprise party ever,” he said firmly. “And I love it. Thank you guys so much-“ He paused. His throat was starting to tighten and he didn’t understand why. “I love you all so much, you’re the best family I’ve ever had-“

 

Nabulungi kissed him on the cheek. “I love you too.”

 

Everyone dispersed to enjoy the festivities: music in the yard, American board games in the communal area, food in the kitchen. Kevin grabbed Arnold for a hug. “Sorry for snooping in your drawer. But I want my Star Wars socks back.”

 

“It’s ok, you just wanted to do something nice. And they’re my socks now, by the way,” Arnold said with gravity.

 

Kevin laughed, squishing his cheeks to shut him up. “I’m glad it’s not your birthday yet, gives me a chance to get you a gift from America.”

 

“Thnks.” Arnold shooed Kevin away from his face. “I love all this Ugandan stuff though. The wooden board games and... I don’t know what we’re going to do with a chick, but I’m digging that too.”

 

“Yeah, I think that came from the dump, it may or may not be a mutant.” They laughed. “So um, how do you say it? That thing on your card?”

 

“What?” Arnold puzzled.

 

“Happy birthday, in Dari.”

 

“Oh! Salgirayt mubarak.” Arnold swelled with pride, being able to teach Kevin something. It wasn’t like it was a rare occurrence, but he still looked up to his best friend.

 

“Salgirayt mubarak, buddy,” Kevin said, his accent almost laughable. Almost; Arnold would never laugh at him for trying.

 

“Tashakor.”

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: everyonewholovesmehasdied
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
